Saturday, February 13, 2010

Nobody told me there would be math

Turns out there is a lot of math off the pill. And a lot of things to learn. For instance, did you know that Week 1 is actually period week? I did not. And it's thrown off all of my other calculations by...well, a week.

In fact, I've learned that I was completely wrong about what goes on in one's abdomen sans pill. That place is pretty much a 24-7 babymaking factory. Have a period, immediately start working on kicking out another egg. But none of this stuff happens fast. Oh, no. It takes six days for the egg to find its way from the ovary to the uterus. Six days! Seriously...how long can the fallopian tube be?

Anyway...I'm in a fun spot. Too late to check if I've ovulated. (Again, I should say; I've been doing a spit test, but the results are confusing at best.) Too soon to test for pregnancy. (Mayo Clinic says you shouldn't test the first day of your missed period, but a week after. Which is assuming I know when the first day of my period should have been.) I've not stopped cramping, and at this point most likely won't until I bleed. Whenever that might be.

I've consumed the biggest part of a Whitman's Sampler, in two sittings, within a single 24-hour time span. Which is about the surest sign that a period is coming. Just wish I knew when.

Monday, February 1, 2010

First pill-free update

I've been off the pill since January 16. Which makes period week January 17-23; last week was Week 1 of my first pill-free cycle.

Of course, I don't play by the rules. The period was heinous, even by my standards. I've decided alcohol does indeed make the cramps worse, so that's it for me and adult beverages in mass quantities. Just not worth it. The cramps were nigh intolerable -- I even missed a day of work, which I've not done in a while.

Then, just as things were winding down, my uncle passed away. Road-trip funeral = megastress, which is probably why I spotted and cramped for an additional week.

Now, Week 2 -- a time when I normally have no symptoms whatsoever. Okay, the *only* time. I'm not spotting, but I am cramping. Enough to make me limp. And last night, my body ejected...something disgusting. I Googled every variation of "mucus plug" I could think of until I found some reassurance that I wasn't dying. (If it had happened a week later, I'd be weeing on a stick or three, but it's far too early for me to be ovulating.)

And what bout of pre-PMS would be complete without headaches, zits, and bloating?

I don't honestly know how much of these symptoms are due to pill withdrawal and how much can be chalked up to stress, grieving, and a week on the road (I am not a good traveler). So I'm taking a watch-and-wait approach. Here's hoping I'm not waiting too much longer.