Some people do this by accident

Sorry for the long, long silence. Three weeks after my last post, I had my first miscarriage. Pretty much everything not relating to getting and staying pregnant fell by the wayside after that.

People get pregnant every day. Even while doing everything in their power to prevent it. Me, I spent a year peeing on sticks, counting days, obsessively documenting the smallest symptom. And it still took three tries before anything stuck.

At times, I deeply resented those fertile people. Why, I wondered, did I have to lie perfectly still and take my temperature while the alarm blared at me? Why did I have to spend time and money on ovulation prediction tests, schedule sex (how sexy!), and completely overhaul my lifestyle just to accomplish this one thing -- something my body is made to do? Other people have a good time on a Saturday night and poof!

And why, for all my efforts, did my first two pregnancies end before they'd really begun? That question will drive you crazy if you let it.

It's been an informative year, to say the least. After that first miscarriage, my periods leveled out; in fact, the only cycle I had after that which didn't run like clockwork was in November, when I had my second miscarriage.

Things I've learned this year:
1. It's possible to know you're pregnant before you get a positive pregnancy test. In the case of my first pregnancy, I started having symptoms three days after ovulation. And of all my pregnancies, that one was the worst in terms of symptoms. (It was also the shortest, ending before my period was even due.)

2. It's also possible to be pregnant and not know it. Something I doubted after pregnancy 1 and 2 (which lacked the violent symptoms but was hardly a stealth pregnancy). The only reason I took a pregnancy test as early as I did the third time around was because the date of my expected period came and went, and like I said, I'd been running like clockwork up until that point. Plus, I had all the usual period symptoms: cramps, bloating, zits, moodiness...everything but the blood.

3. The OPK tests say the test line must be as dark (or darker than) the control line to be considered positive. Not true. According to them, I ovulated once last year -- during a month in which I did not get pregnant.

4. A line on a pregnancy test, no matter how faint, can be a positive result. Home tests look for a much higher level of hormones than your doctor. If you've got enough in your pee to make a line, you've likely got enough to kill the wabbit (or set off the preggers alarms at the doctor).

4a. Just because the pee stick says you're pregnant and the doctor confirms you're pregnant doesn't mean you'll stay pregnant. Levels can go down as well as up.

4b. This type of miscarriage happens more frequently than most people know -- if you're not obsessing over cycles and charts and days on a calendar, you'd most likely never even know you were pregnant in the first place.

4c. Just because it's a common occurrence doesn't make it any less heartbreaking.

5. Compared to my normal periods, those miscarriages were nothing. Physically, anyway. The flow was lighter and shorter than my standard period, and the cramps were much more manageable. Which is kind of horrifying, when you think about it.

6. It's possible to get pregnant immediately after a miscarriage. My doctor advised me to take the month off from trying...a week too late. The week of my miscarriage, I was out of town. The next available appointment was a week from the day I returned home. My boyfriend had missed me. I had missed him. We're due in August.

7. When you have one miscarriage, it's business as usual. When you have two, the rules change. The third time around, they make you stick progesterone bullets up your hooha. For three months.

7a. Progesterone does different things to different people. It gives me backaches. And headaches. Acne to rival my teen years. And makes me retain water.

7b. Which is why I'm never going on the pill again.

8. While pregnancy carries with it a host of other symptoms, it is a welcome relief from endometriosis. And PMS in general. At least for me. My backaches are gone -- in fact, the heating pad burns have all but vanished. While my breasts hurt for other reasons, the fibrocystic tissue has calmed down considerably; I've not found a single lump since I got pregnant. My skin is clearer than it's been since junior high. No mood swings, no bloating unless I binge on salty foods (and even then it's minimal), and very few headaches. I feel...normal. Exhausted, but normal.

9. Pregnancy suppresses your immune system. I spent three days recovering from a flu shot in December (my first...the doctor talked me into it). Spent most of January and February sick with sinus/ear infections and bronchitis from two separate colds. I'm still congested. I don't know if there's a connection between the suppressed immune system and the lack of endo/FBD symptoms, but it's certainly food for thought. (I'm not sure what's worse, though. I don't miss the pain one bit, but it sure would be nice to be able to breathe.)

10. The human body is an amazing thing. I don't know why the first two pregnancies didn't last. I don't know why this one did. I'm not entirely clear on why getting pregnant (which the pill is supposed to mimic, on a chemical level at least) cleared up my symptoms. And I don't have any clue what to expect once I give birth and begin having periods again. What I do know is that for the first time since I began having periods, my body makes sense to me -- I can look at my symptoms and see the logic behind them. After so many years spent at the mercy of my own wonky reproductive system, I finally feel in sync with my body. It's doing what it's supposed to do, and for once everything works just fine.

Some good, some bad

Started late this month -- day 32. (Well, 31 or 32...in the wee hours of Saturday morning, but I was still awake so it felt like Friday. Let's say 32 for the sake of argument.) Spotted lightly until actual Saturday morning, when I was awakened by worse cramps than I've had in months. Such fun. Once the meds kicked in, they (mostly) alleviated the cramps until later Saturday evening, when they refused to be appeased. Also, two pads (in the diaper formation) were required to contain the flow.

So...bad. But good in that it was over quickly; by day 4, I was merely spotting. Given the choice, I much prefer this route to the 7-day (plus) extended version.

I should note that I have not been keeping up my diet and exercise routine, so I am probably partly to blame here. I'm going to try to do better this month. However, as the pain was largely abdominal, I'm not sure yoga and aerobics would have helped much; those only seem to ameliorate the low back pain.

Why I don't own gladiator sandals

My Skechers did this to me. Not those scary-looking sandals I'm seeing everywhere -- soft, comfy, adjustable Skechers.

Only carrying around 10 lbs of water weight, too. It's just more localized this month. I can wear my rings, but my bust is 2 inches bigger (if it didn't hurt so bad, I'd be happy about that) and I can't find my ankles.

So I think tonight is a great night to lay on the couch with my feet up and read a book. And, well, probably nap.

Hope I start soon. I'm afraid to eat anything, for fear that I'll make things worse.

I'm beginning to doubt the existence of "normal"

Or, at least the possibility that I'll get back to it. Strange, strange period this time -- some good, some bad.

The good: I had hardly any pain to speak of until the day I started my period.

The bad: 15 lbs of water weight.

Wednesday morning I had minor pain -- enough for the heating pad, but not for pain medication. I thought the absence of pain was odd, as I was expecting to start Thursday (okay, actually Friday; once again my math was off), but was pleased that I'd not spent the previous week incapacitated by pain.

Around 11 a.m., I went to the restroom and discovered that it is still possible for periods to sneak up on me.

"Maybe I won't hurt so bad this time," thought I. "Maybe my body's getting back to normal."

By 1 p.m., I'd taken all the pain medication I could have in one sitting, and was still in so much pain I could barely breathe. I had to leave work early.

After two days of gushing, it looks like things are tapering off. Now if I could just get rid of this water weight. I was even keeping an eye on my sodium intake! My only saving grace is that most of my clothes are too big anyway. However, I'm pushing the limits of even my biggest, stretchiest clothes right now.

I'm also in the market for a new heating pad. Mine's giving me that stupid F2 error message again. Why must heating pads be computerized? All they need is an on/off switch and a few heat settings...no need to bring computers into it. I did some research online, and apparently all the heating pads of this model have this problem. Which is just fantastic, as I own two of them. I did some research online, and have come to the conclusion that everyone has a different opinion of what makes a "good" heating pad. Also, price means nothing. Look, I just one one that:

1) comes on when I want it to come on,
2) goes off when I want it to go off (I don't mind the auto shut-off, but want to be able to override it), and
3) gets hot enough to alleviate my pain.

It'd be nice if it were also reasonably priced ($200 for a heating pad is ridiculous, imo), had a washable cover, and didn't leave burns on my back, but I can deal without those things if I have to. With all of my Googling, though, I didn't come up with any that stood out from the rest. So I guess it's back to the crap shoot. I do think I'll avoid Sunbeam in the future, though; have had very poor luck with those.

Hormonal backlash

Day 17. According to the tests (yes, multiple -- I've added urine-based ovulation tests to the spit test, because what self-respecting OCDer doesn't want a second opinion?), I'm still not ovulating. But you'd never know it by looking at me.

Every morning brings another zit (or three), though I rarely break out this early in the cycle. I'm carrying around at least 5 lbs of water weight; my belly is swollen, my breasts are incredibly sore, and I've not seen my ankle bones in nearly a week.

A couple of days ago, I developed stabbing pains in my lower left abdomen; I was convinced it was ovulation pain, but the tests say otherwise. Over the following 24 hours, the pain spread to the right side of my abdomen, and now it pretty much encompasses the lower half of my torso.

I'm moody. Tired all the time, but can't sleep. And eating chocolate in horrifying quantities.

I guess I'm making up for the relatively easy periods I've had the past few months. (Not that they were easy...just that I've had much, much worse.) I've got another 12 days of this mess, plus the 5 or so of my period. Great.

On the plus side, I am pleasantly surprised to find that my periods are pretty regular off the pill. My cycles have run precisely 29 days this entire year. Had I known it would be like this, I'd have gone off the pill years ago.

Nobody told me there would be math

Turns out there is a lot of math off the pill. And a lot of things to learn. For instance, did you know that Week 1 is actually period week? I did not. And it's thrown off all of my other calculations by...well, a week.

In fact, I've learned that I was completely wrong about what goes on in one's abdomen sans pill. That place is pretty much a 24-7 babymaking factory. Have a period, immediately start working on kicking out another egg. But none of this stuff happens fast. Oh, no. It takes six days for the egg to find its way from the ovary to the uterus. Six days! Seriously...how long can the fallopian tube be?

Anyway...I'm in a fun spot. Too late to check if I've ovulated. (Again, I should say; I've been doing a spit test, but the results are confusing at best.) Too soon to test for pregnancy. (Mayo Clinic says you shouldn't test the first day of your missed period, but a week after. Which is assuming I know when the first day of my period should have been.) I've not stopped cramping, and at this point most likely won't until I bleed. Whenever that might be.

I've consumed the biggest part of a Whitman's Sampler, in two sittings, within a single 24-hour time span. Which is about the surest sign that a period is coming. Just wish I knew when.

First pill-free update

I've been off the pill since January 16. Which makes period week January 17-23; last week was Week 1 of my first pill-free cycle.

Of course, I don't play by the rules. The period was heinous, even by my standards. I've decided alcohol does indeed make the cramps worse, so that's it for me and adult beverages in mass quantities. Just not worth it. The cramps were nigh intolerable -- I even missed a day of work, which I've not done in a while.

Then, just as things were winding down, my uncle passed away. Road-trip funeral = megastress, which is probably why I spotted and cramped for an additional week.

Now, Week 2 -- a time when I normally have no symptoms whatsoever. Okay, the *only* time. I'm not spotting, but I am cramping. Enough to make me limp. And last night, my body ejected...something disgusting. I Googled every variation of "mucus plug" I could think of until I found some reassurance that I wasn't dying. (If it had happened a week later, I'd be weeing on a stick or three, but it's far too early for me to be ovulating.)

And what bout of pre-PMS would be complete without headaches, zits, and bloating?

I don't honestly know how much of these symptoms are due to pill withdrawal and how much can be chalked up to stress, grieving, and a week on the road (I am not a good traveler). So I'm taking a watch-and-wait approach. Here's hoping I'm not waiting too much longer.

Remember me?

So I'm not the most regular blogger. Mostly, I was waiting until I had something new to report.

The past two months, my periods haven't been all that bad. (Except for the fact that they coincided with Thanksgiving and Christmas, that is.) Pain, yeah. Bloating, pimples, moodiness. The usual.

This month, though, is going to be interesting. I'm not supposed to start until next weekend (so, realistically, January 19). And I've already put on 8 lbs of water weight -- I'm in the big-girl bra right now. Taking pain pills. Dealing with wonky skin. Can't say much to the moodiness, because I quit smoking this week (three days on the lozenges, then cold turkey) -- I'm moody anyway. But basically I've got mega PMS a full week ahead of schedule. And these things usually get progressively worse until I start. I'll report back if anything weird happens, but I anticipate your garden variety (for me) crappy period. Nothing unusual.

Until next month, that is. January 16 is my last day on the pill. I'll have to keep closer tabs on things then, since I won't have a pill pack to tell me when I'm (possibly) going to start. I'm a bit more in tune with my body than I was 10 years ago, though, so it shouldn't be too much of a hassle. (The tracking, not the periods themselves. This is my uterus we're talking about, after all.)

More to come...

A new tactic

First, the update. From what I can tell, the new pill makes the flow lighter and shorter; I'm pretty much done (I think), and it's only been 4 days. Things have been...chunkier, though. Not real sure what that's all about. The pain was also pretty intense the first two days - it's worse in the hours before and after I start, then begins to taper off. But it's not like I've had to be on pain pills for weeks at a time, which is good.

Bloating was also reasonable; I didn't actually swell up until the day I started, and haven't been excessively puffy. My rings got tight, my belly poofed up, and my socks left marks on me, but I don't think I gained more than 5 lbs.

My face, on the other hand...I didn't even have zits like this as a teenager. It's ridiculous.

Exercise has been sporadic at best this month. Stress has raged out of control. Not sure of the influence of these factors, though I obviously suspect that they play a fairly strong role. But then why wasn't my period worse? Why did I not start early? Why did I not experience crushing depression, rage, helplessness?

Got me.

I did realize, over the course of several days, that maybe I'm going about this all wrong. I've been looking for the magic pill that will make me "normal." Maybe there isn't one. Maybe the pill is the problem.

I do have reason to think this. Other medications have done me more harm than good. Chantix, for example, did make me not want to smoke - but it also made me depressed, sometimes suicidal. I experienced extreme nausea and sleep disturbances. And, in the end, it didn't help me quit smoking; once I went off the pill, I went back to my evil ways.

I was not originally prescribed BC to help with the endo, but I've been kept on it because it's supposed to help. It's been about a decade since I had an unassisted period, but as I recall, my periods (and symptoms) were worse on the pill than off. Oh, I bloated, cramped, gushed, got moody and pimply off the pill. But I remember being shocked that the pill made these things worse instead of better because I'd always heard the opposite.

Maybe things have gotten so bad not because the disease is worsening, but because I'm making it worse.

So next year, I'm going off the pill.

Should have seen this coming

Major stress as of late. Working late, bringing work home, spending nearly every waking moment working, stressing, cussing under my breath. And I've been cramping the whole time -- the period stopped, but the pain didn't.

Shoulda known I'd start early.

A week and two days, to be exact. Well, if I were to start on time...which I never do. Pretty much the only thing that ever makes me start early is stress. Usually, I'm late. Which makes sense, considering my "normal" cycle averaged 34 days. (Quotes intended...my periods were never normal, or regular. But they were also nowhere near the mythical 28-day cycle.) I'm just not a short-cycle girl.

So when I do start early, it's bad.

I've lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. Sleeping badly; waking up exhausted. I know what this is: my body's way of telling me to slow the hell down. Wish I could.

I've really tried to cope with the stress. To not fall back on the vices I've used to "cope" in the past...smoking too much, drinking too much, eating garbage. But I can't zen myself out of it lately. Working out does help, somewhat; at least when I'm done, I'm too tired to be really angry about anything anymore.

Or so I thought. My uterus thinks otherwise. Apparently denial only takes you so far.

Not-so-painful pants

Don't get me wrong -- there's been pain. But compared to what I've been dealing with, not that much. Three days into month two (for once, I started kinda-sorta on time), so I'm guessing I've had all the major pain I'm going to with this period.

Pain: Nearly constant Ponstel/Lyrica on days one and two. (And heating pad, of course.) Today, a Ponstel, no heating pad. (Also no Lyrica, though I wanted to take one for the mellowing effects. Bad, bad day at work.)

Flow: Oddly light. (And chunky. Ew.)

Other symptoms: Bloating, fair to medium. (Fair being the water retention portion, medium the preggo-belly swelling.) Bad zits last week, nothing this week. (Probly tempting fate here.) Moodiness...well, work angst notwithstanding, I've not been that bad.

Overall, this has not been a bad month. I wonder if that means next month will be okay as well, or if all hell will break loose.

Microgestin/Ponstel report

First month on the Microgestin was...interesting. More like the periods I'm used to than the ones I've been having: 7 days long, mostly clots, with intense pain before and during and some residual pain after (I'm still aching, and I stopped Monday). Plus, the Microgestin doesn't appear to have reduced the bloating one bit -- but it didn't increase it, either. My face is also breaking out more, which is not a deal-breaker but is annoying. I'll give it another couple of months; if they're more of the same, I'm switching back.

Sadly, the Ponstel was not the wonder drug I was hoping it'd be. Had to hit the Lyrica the first few days (on top of the Ponstel, not in place of) because the pain was excruciating. (It felt like an alien baby was trying to eat its way out.) Not sure how, or if, that's related to the clotting. I can say that it's got nothing to do with inactivity, because I only missed one workout.

I'm beginning to abandon hope of alleviating the symptoms. Maybe all I can do is deal with them. Or get pregnant. I hear that's a list of problems all its own, but still -- no periods for 9 months? Where do I sign up?

Miss me?

It's been a very, very long time since I've posted. Sorry. Didn't have much new to report. Pain's about the same. Lumpies are about the same. My handle on my stress level varies -- some days I succeed at being all zen, and some days (like today) I smile while screaming inside, wishing I could just throw a Mr. Mackey fit: "You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!" It's been that kind of week. And this is on the Lyrica!

So, where to go from here? Well, I've been exploring the exercise route. My parents bought me Wii Fit for my birthday (which, incidentally, was the date of my last post), and I've really been sticking with it. (No one is more shocked than me.) I love that I can customize my workouts based on what I feel up to that day (today, I'm cramping pretty badly, so I stuck to yoga and the easier strength exercises). So far, I can run a mile (some days), do 100 jackknives (evil situps), and *finally* touch my toes (which I've not been able to do since I was a kid). The consistent exercise, whether vigorous or gentle, does seem to help the pain. I'm hoping once the weather cools off, I can talk my bf into walking with me on weekends. (I even bought a pair of teeny tiny walking shorts, to inspire him. :) If nothing else, maybe I'll finally get all buff before everything starts sagging.

Diet. Well, my attempts at controlling my sodium intake have done nada to reduce the bloating. (Also made it damned hard to eat anything besides cereal, yogurt, and steamed veggies; I've lost 5 lbs.) I talked to the doctor about it today; he's trying me on another pill, but says some women just bloat. I told him I understand that, but gaining 5.5 lbs in a single day is a bit uncomfortable. Going on Microgestin; neither of us can remember what pills we've tried in the past, so I'm hoping this isn't one that made me crazy.

Pain. My dad pestered me to ask the doctor for different pain medication. He (Dad) is concerned about the burn the heating pad has left on my back. Dr. gave me Ponstel, another NSAID. Says for some women, it works wonders. Hoping I am one of those women. Also told Dad I would look into getting a new heating pad. My other ones never left burns on me; maybe it's just this brand.

Other than that, not much new to report. Had my annual today; all is well. Somehow managed not to start my period in the middle of it, which is nice. (I do not recommend getting a pelvic exam while cramping, though...yeowch. Not even the Lyrica helped that.) Got my lump drained (not Evil Lump, just a garden-variety cyst) -- easiest lump I ever had. No pain, no bleeding; he couldn't even find the hole to stick the Band-Aid on. Wish they were all like that. I'm good to go for another year. Provided these pills don't make me crazy.

Here's hoping.

Stress?

A new line of thinking. I've been realizing the effects stress has had on my health, life, and outlook, and have recently made efforts to alleviate and eliminate it. Some of it is situational, and some of it psychological. The situational stuff I can't change; however, I can do something about the psychological stuff. A friend gave me a really helpful book: The Worry Cure. It's helped me see how my reactions were, in many cases, making mountains out of molehills. So before I ground my teeth into powder, alienated my family and friends, and stressed myself into an early grave, I decided to put some of the theories from the book into practice.

And guess what? This period was better. Lighter, shorter, and less painful. Granted, the lighter/shorter part could just be because last month's was so long. But I usually hurt regardless. And while I did hurt this month, it wasn't unbearable. A little stiffness, some bad moments on the first and second days. That's it.

I'm giving it a few months before I determine if this is really cause and effect. But for the most part, destressing is apparently full of win. No starvation required.

I tried the diet

For roughly 36 hours. And I felt like hell the entire time. I thought at first it was caffeine withdrawal...then I realized I was just starving. I normally eat around 1400 calories a day; with this endo diet, I was eating less than 1000. No wonder I felt like crap. The food to bring me down wasn't bread or cheese, either...it was tater tots. Made a Sonic run at 9 p.m. two days into the diet -- something I never do.

Then I realized I was doing it all wrong. Yes, I had a 12-day period this month. And a 10-day one a couple of months ago. But in between there, I had a 4-day one. The variable factor has not been my diet…it’s been stress. This diet doesn’t help that, either. (Particularly not the no-caffeine part.) What I really need to do is not revamp my diet (despite what my mother thinks, I eat pretty well already), but work on exercising more and stressing less.

I’m not abandoning the idea, though. I will try to eat more veg and fruit and less wheat and cheese. But I’m not going to starve myself, which is the direction I was heading before the tater tot run. (I didn’t eat dinner because nothing sounded good. Then tater tots sounded wonderful…more wonderful than they were, honestly.)

And if I have another 13-day period (yes, this month's period was nearly 2 weeks long), I'll go talk to the doctor again.

New book, new resolve

Bought a recipe book for endometriosis. (I got the e-book; it is so very cool to buy a book online and have it immediately!) I'm contemplating her other book; I guess I'm just not sure how far I buy into this stuff yet. For instance, there's a section on soy in the recipe book that confirms my experiences with it, and my thoughts (based on research into soy) about how a food full of estrogen would affect me. However, it devolves into a paranoid-sounding rant about the evil soy farmers brainwashing the masses...not sure I quite believe that. So I guess I'm taking much of the intro with a grain of salt.

At any rate, I'm going to start the diet next weekend. I figured the beginning of my cycle was a good time, and since I'm far from regular (I started three days earlier than the pills say I should, and nearly a week before I expected to), I have to rely on the pills for a cycle start date. I may not hit 100% right away -- I still don't have all my food stuffs assembled, and my parents are not exactly supportive of the idea. (My boyfriend's cool with it, even though it will affect him much more than it affects them. One of the many reasons why I love him.) But I figure even if I don't follow it to the letter at first, I can work up to that.

The other thing I need to deal with is my stress level. A friend said something that made me see I don't deal with stress -- I just live with it. And I've been under a fair amount recently. Which is probably why I started early this month. No diet in the world will help with the endo if I don't also get my stress under control. I need to stop seeing stress as an unavoidable aspect of life, and start doing something to deal with it. How, I do not know.

Adventures in vegetarianism

While it's not conclusive proof, I'm even more suspicious of soy now. Last month's period was ten days long; this month's was four. The difference: Last month, I ate soy tacos for a week. This month, no soy. Makes you wonder, huh?

In fact, this month was better all around, though by no means enjoyable. The worst part was this past week; I had a migraine that lasted several days, which may or may not have been period related. (They usually are, but this week was also quite stressful.) Still, a vast improvement over last month. I'm now forbidding myself to eat soy.

I'm also preparing to go mostly vegan (no wheat, no dairy) for a month. Most sources recommend you eliminate one, then the other, but I'm just gonna let 'er rip. If I don't see an improvement after cutting most of the joy from my diet, I'm going to eat whatever the heck I want. I was going to do this for the month of April, but then Mom announced her plan to make apple pie for Good Friday. And there's a cake recipe I want to try as well. So now I'm waiting until after Easter, and doing research in the meantime.

The results of this research:

- I tried Uncle Bob's Red Mill Homemade Wonderful GF Bread Mix. I was dubious about the "wonderful" part...no matter how you look at it, bread made with garbanzo bean flour can't really be expected to taste as nummy as bread made with wheat. What I didn't expect was the first mouthful to send me gagging to the trash can. I don't puke easy, but this stuff is just revolting. A friend has recommended rice bread, though, so I've not given up on wheat-free peanut butter sandwiches.

- I also tried rice milk (purchased to make the GF bread above, but I was also curious). It tastes and smells like...nothing. Compared with soy milk, however (the flavor of which horrified and disgusted me), "nothing" is perfectly acceptable. (I will miss my dairy, though.)

- I've decided (at least for the moment) to loosen my diet plans; since I can't eat that many of them anyway, there's no point in excluding eggs. (Besides, most of the vegan substitutes I've found are mostly soy.) In this spirit, I picked up a can of powdered egg whites, since I can never keep fresh eggs/egg product in the house. Which leads to lesson #2 (same night, unfortunately, as the GF bread debacle):

- Brownies made with egg white powder don't gel. I had to bake those things ten extra minutes before they were even semi-solid, and while they are edible, they're a bit on the crunchy side. One more lesson...

- Brownies don't cure migraines. (It was worth a shot.)

Time for some recipe research. I'll let you know if I find anything good.

Get off yer duff

Confirmed today the theory about movement helping cramps. Bad pain day (Lyrica + Darvocet), yet have been doing some light spring cleaning. (I'm not moving furniture, but I'm doing everything else.) And so long as I keep moving, the pain is tolerable. When I stop (like now), it feels like someone's got my hips in a vice.

So I'll get back to it. Just thought I'd share that.

(Longer post to come...I'm finally going to do the vegan thing. More on that later.)

That sound would be my bubble popping

Or maybe just going "pfft," like the dud bubbles in bubble wrap.

Finally, finally wrapping up this month's period. Ten days this hugger lasted. And while I'm not still gushing, I am still bleeding, and hurting -- more in the 1-4 range than the 7-9, as I was a few days ago, but still.

So much for the shorter period.

I'm not completely abandoning hope, though. It may be the soy. (The "estrogen + more estrogen = period from hell" theory.) I'll give it a month or so, and eat better during those months, before I give up on this pill.

Journal. Now.

Many thanks to the Goddess Kelly for suggesting I start a food journal. Because mine's not just a food journal...no, anal-retentive person that I am, it's a state-of-my-body journal. I'm tracking not just what I consume, but also my mood, severity and location of my pain, and any other symptoms I may have. And just in the past few days, I'm seeing the effect starting has on my mood. I went from slightly insecure and weepy to "get off my lawn!" cranky in 48 hours. Really quite amazing, when you think about it. (I think my bf was relieved that I did not join him for the out-of-town concert he attended this weekend.)

While the main point of the journal is to try to determine which foods may or may not worsen my symptoms, I expect to also see patterns in my symptoms. And maybe from there, I can figure out how to alleviate those symptoms. Or at least make sure my loved ones are far away from me when the crazy hits.